We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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