she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
