winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
