Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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