Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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