speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
