he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
True strength comes from lack of pants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
