dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
