sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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