Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
