My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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