Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
