I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
