fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
