I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
