Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
