he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The power of my boobs compel you
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
