girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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