Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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