he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
