not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize