not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
