I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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