You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
