I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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