so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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