I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
