i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
