i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
