There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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