farters have to be the big spoon...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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