Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
