I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
