i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
