Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
