just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
