everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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