"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
