i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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