your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
