so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
