I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
