everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
