would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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