we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I had to cum in my sink.
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