DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
how drunk are you?
Several
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
