my phone needs a breathalizer
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
