do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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