we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
