she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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